I have been away!!

Ugh, this week was another from hell. All-in-all, I will be ok, and the chef will heal. For starters, last week started off normal. I worked my allotted 5 hour shift opening. I was going to the basement to get stuff to restock the fridge, and fell up the stairs. I had already had a bump on my arm that was causing problems, a tendon isnt right. I caught myself with my already injured arm. I called the chef bawling. We had a few errands to run after I got off work and he was trying to convince me that it is "ok" to go to the ER. He had been persistant in trying to persuade me in this for almost a week. I am stubborn, I dont like the hospital and I did NOT want to go. We wound up going at 7pm, about 12 hours from the phone call from me bawling. He won. Not saying that he really won anything, but...you get the idea. They told me I have de quervan's tendonitis. Whatever that is. They had to put me in a splint for a week. It was heavy, it was painful and whats more, I couldnt cook in class last week and I missed work because its not very sanitary to give bread or serve food or cook it for that matter with this thing that had to be covering my (immobile) thumb and part of my hand. It made it very hard to type, text, and drive. I havent worked in a week now. I have been going crazy in my apartment for a week. I took the stupid thing off today, and guess what?! THE BUMP IS STILL THERE! and I have a new symptom: stiffness. I was told to see a specialist, guess what? I have no insurance and no money. Kinda sucks when you arent working! GAH! However, the chef was very helpful and sweet, he has been making sure I am ok. He called probably 3 times last Tuesday to make sure I was ok after class. Sometimes, and I truly am starting to believe this, God has been testing the Chef and I. I dont think my birthday, my losing my job, christmas, car trouble, money trouble, school issues, etc were enough. God has to really, REALLY test our relationship and devotion to each other. Then, there was Valentine's Day. That was fun, NOT. While on facebook, I could just see everyone had a good day, a friend of mine is now engaged, my cousin got his wife diamond earrings, another friend of mine got a saphirre necklace. ok, I get it. I, on the other hand, got ditched by my best friend. But I sat around and watched Bride Wars and slept. I got to wake up next to my chef. He also made the effort to make it home by midnight and got me a stuffed dog, its name is Sweetpea according to it's tag. Its just a little hard to come to terms with the fact that some holidays, I will be alone. I thought I had a good support in my best friend (of 12 years) who would be there for me and hang out with me, but I guess not. I have hobbys, but it was kinda hard to do them with a splint going halfway up my arm. I am grateful that I got to spend the day with my chef today, it was quiet. We went to the mall and exchanged my shoes. We had lunch and dinner together. It was nice. I know he is hurting really badly from working all weekend and only having today off. He could have just slept all day and blew me off, but he realizes how much our time together means to me. When my boss tells me that I wont be working until Thursday at the earliest, he just tells me its ok, that I really need to heal. I know it breaks his heart when I cry, whether I am hurting physically or emotionally, but when he can be, he wipes my tears and holds me. Just like the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. When he did that, I knew I would fall in love with him. I was already starting to. Sometimes, I just need to remember the little daily things that he does to show me he loves me. Sometimes, I might sound like I am just ranting, but I really do learn from blogging. The chef doesnt need a holiday to show me he cares, he does that daily. And for that, I love him.

-Jes