I have a mid-term coming up in a week from Tuesday. I feel like I am not completely ready for it. It is for my Culinary Foundations class. This class is a general cooking class, I will be using these skills (supposedly) for the rest of my culinary carreer. I think I will be purchasing a mandolin soon! I understand I need a lot of practice. I get frusterated and I can't seem to get past the part where I totally suck at this! My chef has been very patient with me, he took me to the store and we bought onions and potatos. Its very hard to go into the kitchen with him and have him teach me. I wound up breaking down and crying my eyes out. I can't believe that I am dating a chef and I could suck so bad. Oh well. I guess practice makes perfect. And I have a feeling I have a lot of practice in my future, and a lot of crying. And I am not talking about the onions.
There was something that happened yesterday that really made my day too! I received my check from my student loans. This has taken a huge weight off my shoulders and my chef's. We have been completely stressed about money and how we are going to pay bills. We have been "robbing Peter to pay Paul" for months now. Its pretty crazy since, he is an executive chef! We shouldn't be having money problems like this! But, he wanted me to have a great Christmas. He has been paying 2 households of bills. It has been frusterating for me. I want to be able to pay my own bills but I do know that school needs to be my concentration. My boyfriend doesn't care how much I make, just as long as I can pay some of the bills. The check couldn't have come at a better time. We have been trying to figure out how we were going to pay for my rent AND the Harley payment AND our car insurance AND my storage unit. Not only that, I have been getting notices from the cable company. I got a money order for my rent, put money on my prepaid visa for the insurance and my storage unit. We stopped and made most of the payment on the cable bill. It was hard to get the money and give most of it away. I feel better that we don't have to stress about bills but I feel sad too because I wanted to spend the money without worries. I can't do that. If I did that, I might as well go out and have a drink.
Something that reminded me of that is at my Oxford House meeting, someone was talking about a guy in one of the houses, he got $10,000 and didn't pay his back rent owed to his house. I was told that he is getting kicked out of his house. He chose to buy a new car instead of paying his rent. I guess it goes to show you that you need to live right and do the next best thing in everything you do. People are more understanding of people who make a larger effort to do what is right, you also earn more respect. My check was a 10th of what he got. I still made an effort, I would LOVE to get a laptop. But, if i didnt have a roof over my head or internet to use it with, whats the point? I thank God for those little reminders. I am doing what is right today and that is all I can do. I thought after today I was going to be done with Oxford House. I realized after hearing the story of the man who is getting kicked out, I need them as much as they need me, I just dont need to live in an Oxford House to reap the rewards.