Blizzards & Burritos

I keep trying to convince anyone who reads my blog that I am terrible at blogging. I admit it, I am busy and tired and when I am none of those things, I am usually with my chef. I don't remember if I had blogged yet saying he is moving in with me in *drum roll* less than 2 months! I am very excited. Now, I know that usually when he isn't with me he is busy as all hell but I just want the pleasure of waking up in the middle of the night and snuggling up to him, I would rather do this in my sleep but I have grown accustomed to having my bed to myself. For christmas, my chef got us blackberries. I don't know how to work it very well but I AM blogging from it right now. I happen to be at my job watching the snow fall and procrastinating doing my homework. The chef also got me a nook. Its kinda like a kindle or sony e-reader, if you go to www.nook.com it tells you a lot more about it. I don't have it yet so I don't know if its any good, the chef seriously put off buying christmas presents because he has been so busy, too busy if you ask me, and with me being without a job for so long we haven't had much money. But, our relationship has stayed intact. Its been rocky but I know that since this has been going on for over 2 months, the money issues, we can survive. It will just be nicer when we are better financially. I have been going to school and working so that has taken a toll on me. Back to christmas, there was a blizzard here in Nebraska, it started with rain 2 days before and by christmas eve, it was snowing good. I made it to and from work fine, I just walked over here. There was ice hanging off the trees from the rain and then freezing like that, it was beautiful! So by the time my chef got off work, it was a full blown blizzArd. I was baking cookies when I started getting texts from him sounding like he wasn't coming. By the time I was almost done baking to cookies, I was bawling. I haven't been able to spend christmas with my family in years or my daughter, the holidays are a bad time for me to be alone. My chef called, talked to me for maybe 5 mins and it still sounded like I would be spending christmas alone. About an hour later, I was on the phone with one of the few relatives that talks to me, unfortunately, they live in TX. My chef calls me and asks what I'm wearing? I had the most confused expression on my face but he told me to put on some boots and a hat and come outside to help him unload the car. I ran. I was running to him in the middle of a blizzard on christmas eve. He was my christmas present. Now I don't have any food in my house and the blizzard wasn't supposed to happen and my chef was supposed to get off work earlier, same story, different day. So all the grocery stores were closed. I called them. And burger king. Finally called the gas station down the street and they tell me they never close. We had gas station burritos for christmas dinner. It was our first christmas together. It makes for a great laugh and story but at the time and even a little now, it was scary. He was supposed to go out of town the day after so he drove home christmas night. He slid sideways down one of the main roads. They shut that street down after that. He attempted to leave town on the 26th and wound up in a ditch on the interstate. He is fine and the car is fine but terrifying to say the least. That's just a little update for now. A word of advice: burritos are NOT a very romantic food.

bah humbug

i honestly dont mean to be a scrooge, but this past month has been hard. i wasnt working for an entire month and that was stressful. i finally got a job at a french bakery, i really like it. i only get minimum wage but i also make tips. its not nearly as stressful as my last job working as a server. yes, i get bread for customers, clean the store, make coffee/hot drinks, make the sandwiches, serve the customers, run the register, answer the phone, and do my own dishes but its not that much when you actually get it down. i also have a lot of down time so i can bring my homework with me. i am getting to know the regulars and can wear regular clothes. its soo nice. i get one free meal and can have bread too. i dont have to take the bus so i dont have to worry about me missing it and being late for work, not that it happened often with my last job, but the public transportation in omaha is TERRIBLE. i have only worked for 4 days there and i love it. im not nearly as stressed as i once was. once i get down the schedule, i think i will be fine. i have to get up at 5:30am to get ready to leave at 6:10am to walk to work, but i can adjust. i just need to learn how to not nap when i get home. there is only one person usually working there at a time so you have to run yourself. its not hard, just keep yourself in line. the goal is to get me running there smoothly and then go to the other location and learn the bread. im excited to embark on this new journey, however, before i started working all my chef and i could do is worry about bills. we still do. christmas isnt going to be much this year and im not a big fan of it anyways because i dont have my daughter or any family that is here to spend the holidays with. i get really depressed around this time of year and my losing my job didnt help. my chef has been working ungodly hours and we had a blizzard this week so he couldnt make it here. its almost midnight as i type and i have no idea if im going to get to spend my sunday with him and i really havent spent time with him since monday of last week. my financial problems have put a strain on our relationship so much that all we do is talk about how we are going to make it work. yes, my chef is helping me with my bills, we dont live together and we have only been dating less than 6 months (it will be 6 months on dec 22nd). he cares that much about me that he wants to help me with my bills. also, my best friend of 11 years was tested for cervical cancer. she doesnt have it, but the scare is pretty bad. she had wrist surgery and then had to have a biopsy on her cervix in the same week. i was there for her for both because i wasnt working yet but i didnt have anyone there for me when i was scared for her. i couldnt lean on her because i didnt want her to know how scared i was. i needed to be strong for her but i had nobody to be strong for me and that was hard. it still is, we only got the results this past tuesday. i hope things get easier, i pray for that every night.