Looking up

Things have been going good for us around here. We have been having my daughter EVERY weekend for the last 4 weeks. We already have plans to have her this weekend, next weekend and probably the weekend after that. It doesn't seem to be changing. I am happy. This past weekend, she was here starting on Thursday because she didn't have school on Friday. Chef had to work (of course!) and I had to work on Friday night. Luckily for me, my friend had the day off and was able to watch my daughter for me. Next weekend (not this coming weekend), my daughter will be coming again on Thursday. My mom is taking her to see the Grinch at the Orpheum. My mom messaged me on facebook and when she did, she made it sound like she wished I was able to go with her and my daughter. When she met my chef, he invited her and her husband to dinner at his restaurant. When my mom and her husband came to pick my daughter up at my house on Sunday, she said maybe her and my daughter will go to his restaurant to have dinner before the show. In her message today, she invited me to come along with to dinner. I wanted to so badly ask her if I could join but I didn't want to step on any toes, even though its my husband's restaurant. I have a lot of mending of fences to do with my mom and I need to let her do it at her own pace. I am ok with that. I am slowly learning patience. I had tears in my eyes just thinking about dinner with my mom. I haven't had dinner with her with it being just me and her and 1-2 other people in so long. I remember being pregnant and meeting her, my brother and grandpa for lunch. Otherwise it was for my daughter's 2nd birthday, there were 5 people there though. This is a major step for both of us.

Speaking of my mom and her husband....they got married a little over a year ago (August 28th, 2009). I wasn't invited to the wedding, I heard about it from another family member. I had been told a few years ago that if I ever showed up at my mom's house, her husband would greet me with a shotgun/rifle. My chef met her husband Sunday. It wasn't good. My husband behaved himself, he went outside to greet my mom, it was her first time at my new apartment. She hasn't been to a home I have lived at in almost 5 years. My chef stuck his hand out to my step dad and introduced himself. My step dad gruffly said his name. That was all. When they all came inside the house, I was in my daughter's room grabbing a few things. I came into the living room and said "Hi." Nobody acknowledged me. Then, I specificially said "Hi, R" since I had just spoken to my mom on the phone....my step dad almost blatantly ignored me. It hurts my feelings. I shouldn't let it, but I can't believe that he could be so rude to me, and then my daughter in my home. I will be nice, but I think it might be wasted on him. Oh well, his loss.

Thankful Thursdays

I think I am going to start a Thankful Thursdays thing. I have a lot to be thankful for and I tend to forget it. So, even though I have posted quite a bit today, I will still post this:

Although...the stupid blogger program won't let me upload right now....stupid thing...


Anyways...here is the list!

1. My daughter sleeping in her room here at my house
2. My husband, home right now.
3. My blackberry, so that I can call my daughter when she isn't here.
4. My job, because I have a way to make some money.
5. My health (for the most part....last weekend I had food poisoning and I have back problems) but I am otherwise healthy and not in a hospital.
6. Netflix, so that I can have something to watch that isn't otherwise on TV.
7. The ability to learn.
8. Music, it fuels my soul and keeps me dancing/singing.
9. Forgiveness, without it, my daughter would not be here.
AND #10! My sobriety, without it, none of the rest would be here

The kid....

Now, if you were unaware, my daughter lives with my mom. This has been an arrangement for awhile and I did what was best for my daughter at the time. I just started being able to see her again. Its been great. She has her own room with a bed, dresser, nightstand, and tv. She doesn't have a lot of toys here but it seems like she is moving in little by little. Its kinda cute. She is 7 years old and is in 2nd grade. She says some of the funniest things.

For example, the other day I was asking her how school was. She replies: "Mom, its just like adult school, only for little kids."

Today, we were driving home. The conversation went like this:
Bear (the kid): "Mom, am I half monkey?"

Me: "No, you are half mom and half dad"

Bear: (giggling) "Does that mean I will get one of these" (gesturing to a spot just below her lips and her chin)

Me: (laughing) "No, only boys get those"

Bear: "Why?"

Me: "To make them look masculine"

Bear: "What's that?"

Me: "Manly"

Bear: "Oh! Like dad?"

Yes, like dad kiddo.

I have others, but thats enough for today....ohh and she said "Its like the breath of my pizza" What?! What does that mean?

This business of being a chefwife....

As of late, my posts have been more about my life in general and its usually about me being in school. I try not to complain too much about my life as a chef's wife. Not like I have been one for very long. I know what I married into. I know the long hours are a part of the job. Its a part of the life. I understand that. I married him when he was at this job, we started dating while he was at this job. I get that! What I don't understand....is how my husband has been ignoring my needs lately. I miss his kisses. I miss him trailing behind me when I go to another room and kissing me or putting his arms around me. I miss the affection. We have been through so much in our short marriage, yet I feel like we are just drifting apart. We made it through the miscarriage. Yet, we can't find time to be intimate with each other. We made it through a stressful move. We are starting to see my daughter, every weekend, but I feel like he can't seem to make the time for me. I spoke with him about this earlier on the phone. It seems like everything always comes to a head on Tuesdays, inventory day, the day he comes home super late and I hardly see him. Maybe its the fact that I realize that when I am sitting around and I miss him. Its not that he isn't here its just that when he is here hes not. If that makes sense. Hopefully things will look up soon.

I just needed to get that rant off my chest. Thanks

Maybe...

So much has been happening. So quickly too. I don't remember the last time I posted. Probably been awhile. So, the chef and I moved a few weeks ago. We moved into a bigger apartment in a better area. We are nowhere near close to being unpacked. We also got everything out of my storage unit, and put it all into our garage. Finally, a bill we are done with. Especially since we pay for a garage. Also, we got a cat. She is a little bitch. She snuggles up to the chef all the time, I think part of that has to do with the fact that no matter what he is wearing, she can smell food on him. I think its a part of him, always will be. Then, our cat, Bella, wants to just ATTACK you like crazy! She is really playful and can be a pain in the ass. She will get you if you don't pay attention to her when you are walking. Or just when you are sitting down, not moving an inch she just comes up and nips your arm or foot. Yep, thats my cat.

In other good news, I saw my daughter this past weekend! She is amazing. She is hilarious, says the funniest things. I love it and I really wish she was living with me. She loves music and wants to play it loud in the car, which, even though I listen to to loud music, I kinda just wanna turn it down. Makes me feel like an old lady. Hahaha. Lucky for me and my chef she was able to stay the night. We were in bliss being parents for 24 hours. I miss her so much. I can't wait until she is living with us full-time.

On another note, I might be changing my major in college. I have come to the realization that maybe I can't be a pastry chef. I am fully capable mentally, I have the brains, its just the schedule seriously sucks, I need to have time for my daughter. I have a hard enough time trying to not work nights at my job now and I only work at a grocery store. With the chef working crazy hours, my (our) daughter needs at least one parent that works normal hours and is home to help with homework and take her to t-ball/soccer/volleyball/basketball practices...and whatever else she wants to be involved in. I would go bonkers if I didn't work and we need me to have some sort of income but I don't think its in the cards for me to be in culinary too. I can always bake at home :) That and, my body has been killing me working on my feet like I do. I can't imagine doing it more than I do already. I only work 2-3 days as it is so working 5-7....no thanks! So, next week I go and talk to an advisor at school and find out what I can do. I need to figure things out. I just want to work a regular Monday thru Friday schedule and be home at night. Any suggestions are welcome.

No love for the wicked..

I guess my title is weird. Anyways, chef has been super sick lately, he claims he "feels fine" but I don't know if thats true or just a man thing. (Ha! I know I'm going to get some shit for this later!) I love him a lot. Which is why I made him go to the Dr. for his breathing. So Wednesday night, we go to the Urgent Care (he purposely got off work early for this) and the Dr was in there and is looking around...and he has a double ear infection! He says his ears never even hurt and he never thought that would be whats wrong with him! Honestly, me either. So, he is on antibiotics, which is amoxicillian (sp?) and I am allergic to penicillian (sp?). So that means, no kissing. This sucks, I can kiss his cheek, but not his lips, for another week or so (on the pills for 10 days). This seriously sucks. And its doctor's orders. Again. We couldn't "practice" making a baby since my HCG levels aren't at zero yet and then another 6 weeks after that...but NO kissing?! Sucks balls. (no not literally, but you know what I mean). I guess that explains the title now.

On another note: I have been making dinner lately, it might be "easy" stuff, but I do put forth an effort. Wednesday night, we came home, I was supposed to try out this recipe from my new cookbook Debbie Macomber's Cedar Cove Cookbook (yes, I just linked you to barnes and noble, I have a nook, what do you expect?). I got the cookbook for my birthday, and have yet to try out a recipe. She is on my "Favorite Author's List" lol. (there is no actual list, its just one of those authors I read all the time and if I find a book by her I haven't read yet, I will read it without knowing more about it, because she is that good). Anyways, chef was a little too tired to wait for me to cook it up so I made mac and cheese and hot dogs instead (ahhh, reminds you of childhood eh?). Chef had his hot dogs on the side, I on the other hand, had mine cut up and mixed in. Love it. Then last night, Thursday, I had to have a friend come and rescue me (isn't that why I got married? No knight in shining tin foil for me, I have FRIENDS!) lol. ...really, its ok chef!.. I had left my headlights on in the car and was stuck at work. LAME. So, K came and bailed me out, she pushed my car (a big feat since its a cadillac) and jumped it. Which is funny since neither one of us knew how to do that. Anyways, she was at our apartment after and we were both hungry, and we (the chef and I) have groceries, so why not cook? I'm capable! So, we had fried egg sandwiches with bacon. mmmmm. I love me some bacon. Now, K wants me to adopt her. Funny, she is about 9 months younger than I am. Not possible, and chef said no. Also, Wednesday, I made (box mix) brownies. I used a new pan, a wilton one, and I wasn't used to baking with it, I usually used a glass one...and apparently in SMALL ass print, it says to cut the baking time by 3 mins, which I didn't see until I pulled it out of the oven. Stupid directions. So we have extra chewy (still good and I love my brownies chewy...) brownies with crisp edges. Oh well. At least I baked something right? Hopefully this weekend I will be making the stuffed peppers. Which chef doesn't like peppers that much but he will deal, he helped me pick the recipe I would use.

We are also moving! We move the 17th, so please excuse the lack of posts and progress on the 101 in 1001. I have barely packed. (eye roll) I guess I am going to be the one packing us up? Seems like it. I start school on Tuesday so hopefully it will be less homework and a little more time for me to pack, at least until we get moved. Ugh, chef? We could have done this SOONER! I had 3 weeks off from school! I know, we have been going thru some shit so I wouldn't have wanted to pack anyways. Sue me. I am a procrastinater. But, I have been bringing home boxes when I can, even before we found the place. There are 4 official boxes packs. Wish me luck!

4/101 Watch 26 movies I haven't seen, one for each letter of the alphabet

As of today, I have seen 3 out of 26 so far (I love Netflix)

A- According to Greta (2009), This has Hilary Duff in it, the beginning of it reminded me severly of Georgia Rule and I thought it was an odd character for Hilary Duff to star as. The story was great, in my opinion. The difference between Georgia Rule and this movie is the step father isn't sexually molesting the daughter of the story. The mother of this movie seems to be more indifferent to her daughter. I enjoyed the movie myself. And I especially enjoyed that she was hooking up with a cook/chef :)

B- Big Fat Liar (2002), I didn't think the story was all that great for Amanda Bynes. I thought the story was funny, but a little far-fetched.

C- Cashback (2006), this movie...well, it was really really freaking slow. I didn't like that too much. There was a lot of nudity. There is one scene, where they are at the strip club and Ben, the main character, spaces out and looks at a stripper with a lit pole, she was hot. I am not afraid to admit that a female is hot. The end, meh, it was typical of a love story in my opinion.