Thankful Thursdays

I think I am going to start a Thankful Thursdays thing. I have a lot to be thankful for and I tend to forget it. So, even though I have posted quite a bit today, I will still post this:

Although...the stupid blogger program won't let me upload right now....stupid thing...


Anyways...here is the list!

1. My daughter sleeping in her room here at my house
2. My husband, home right now.
3. My blackberry, so that I can call my daughter when she isn't here.
4. My job, because I have a way to make some money.
5. My health (for the most part....last weekend I had food poisoning and I have back problems) but I am otherwise healthy and not in a hospital.
6. Netflix, so that I can have something to watch that isn't otherwise on TV.
7. The ability to learn.
8. Music, it fuels my soul and keeps me dancing/singing.
9. Forgiveness, without it, my daughter would not be here.
AND #10! My sobriety, without it, none of the rest would be here

The kid....

Now, if you were unaware, my daughter lives with my mom. This has been an arrangement for awhile and I did what was best for my daughter at the time. I just started being able to see her again. Its been great. She has her own room with a bed, dresser, nightstand, and tv. She doesn't have a lot of toys here but it seems like she is moving in little by little. Its kinda cute. She is 7 years old and is in 2nd grade. She says some of the funniest things.

For example, the other day I was asking her how school was. She replies: "Mom, its just like adult school, only for little kids."

Today, we were driving home. The conversation went like this:
Bear (the kid): "Mom, am I half monkey?"

Me: "No, you are half mom and half dad"

Bear: (giggling) "Does that mean I will get one of these" (gesturing to a spot just below her lips and her chin)

Me: (laughing) "No, only boys get those"

Bear: "Why?"

Me: "To make them look masculine"

Bear: "What's that?"

Me: "Manly"

Bear: "Oh! Like dad?"

Yes, like dad kiddo.

I have others, but thats enough for today....ohh and she said "Its like the breath of my pizza" What?! What does that mean?

This business of being a chefwife....

As of late, my posts have been more about my life in general and its usually about me being in school. I try not to complain too much about my life as a chef's wife. Not like I have been one for very long. I know what I married into. I know the long hours are a part of the job. Its a part of the life. I understand that. I married him when he was at this job, we started dating while he was at this job. I get that! What I don't understand....is how my husband has been ignoring my needs lately. I miss his kisses. I miss him trailing behind me when I go to another room and kissing me or putting his arms around me. I miss the affection. We have been through so much in our short marriage, yet I feel like we are just drifting apart. We made it through the miscarriage. Yet, we can't find time to be intimate with each other. We made it through a stressful move. We are starting to see my daughter, every weekend, but I feel like he can't seem to make the time for me. I spoke with him about this earlier on the phone. It seems like everything always comes to a head on Tuesdays, inventory day, the day he comes home super late and I hardly see him. Maybe its the fact that I realize that when I am sitting around and I miss him. Its not that he isn't here its just that when he is here hes not. If that makes sense. Hopefully things will look up soon.

I just needed to get that rant off my chest. Thanks

Maybe...

So much has been happening. So quickly too. I don't remember the last time I posted. Probably been awhile. So, the chef and I moved a few weeks ago. We moved into a bigger apartment in a better area. We are nowhere near close to being unpacked. We also got everything out of my storage unit, and put it all into our garage. Finally, a bill we are done with. Especially since we pay for a garage. Also, we got a cat. She is a little bitch. She snuggles up to the chef all the time, I think part of that has to do with the fact that no matter what he is wearing, she can smell food on him. I think its a part of him, always will be. Then, our cat, Bella, wants to just ATTACK you like crazy! She is really playful and can be a pain in the ass. She will get you if you don't pay attention to her when you are walking. Or just when you are sitting down, not moving an inch she just comes up and nips your arm or foot. Yep, thats my cat.

In other good news, I saw my daughter this past weekend! She is amazing. She is hilarious, says the funniest things. I love it and I really wish she was living with me. She loves music and wants to play it loud in the car, which, even though I listen to to loud music, I kinda just wanna turn it down. Makes me feel like an old lady. Hahaha. Lucky for me and my chef she was able to stay the night. We were in bliss being parents for 24 hours. I miss her so much. I can't wait until she is living with us full-time.

On another note, I might be changing my major in college. I have come to the realization that maybe I can't be a pastry chef. I am fully capable mentally, I have the brains, its just the schedule seriously sucks, I need to have time for my daughter. I have a hard enough time trying to not work nights at my job now and I only work at a grocery store. With the chef working crazy hours, my (our) daughter needs at least one parent that works normal hours and is home to help with homework and take her to t-ball/soccer/volleyball/basketball practices...and whatever else she wants to be involved in. I would go bonkers if I didn't work and we need me to have some sort of income but I don't think its in the cards for me to be in culinary too. I can always bake at home :) That and, my body has been killing me working on my feet like I do. I can't imagine doing it more than I do already. I only work 2-3 days as it is so working 5-7....no thanks! So, next week I go and talk to an advisor at school and find out what I can do. I need to figure things out. I just want to work a regular Monday thru Friday schedule and be home at night. Any suggestions are welcome.